Lov i ng a Fo oL After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, I know, but I was in love and I didn't notice it." Overheard at the beach I like my dental hygienist, I think she’s cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments. The Sun Bay Paper Page 20 May 20, 2022 - June 2, 2022 Br i l l i ant One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is greeted by a beautiful young housewife. "Hello," he starts, "I’m doing some research for a petroleum jelly manufacturer. Have you ever used the product?" "Yes. My husband and I use it during sex," she answers. The researcher is taken aback. "Um, er, I admire you for your honesty," he continues. "Can you tell me exactly how you use it?" "Sure, we put it on the doorknob so the kids can’t get in." It’s time to benefit from the active real estate market. Contact me for competent real estate expertise. Cathie Lewis, Realtor Pfeifer Realty Group, LLC SWFL, Fort Myers Beach, Sanibel & Captiva Islands is All About Home Real Estate Specialist Li t t l e Johnny A teacher says, “Okay, class. Today we’re going to be talking about the tenses. If I say ‘I’m beautiful,’ which tense is it?” Little Johnny raises his hand & says, “Obviously past tense, Mrs. Jones. Want a Better View? Sp o r t s Fan The wife was telling me I need more exercise. I told her, "Well, I'll take up sports then." She laughed and said, "Why don't you just order the sports channel on cable? Shaking your fist at the TV and yelling at the games is more exercise than you'll get actually playing them." So I took the batteries out of the smoke detectors. My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner. Tax time A mathematician, a statistician and an accountant apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What does two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly." Then the interviewer calls in the statistician and asks the same question "What does two plus two equal?" The statistician says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four." Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and poses the same question "What does two plus two equal?" The accountant gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?" L i ti g i o u s Did you hear that God is being sued for not allowing sinners into Heaven? The plaintiffs allege grace-based discrimination. D i sney My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long. "Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters." Overheard at the beach I like my dental hygienist, I think she’s cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments. Overheard at the beach Am I the only person who blames global warming entirely on the Amish? Are they not a constant reminder of how awful life would be without all this great technology? Every time I want to cut back and conserve on natural resources, I just look at the Amish and I'm like, 'Frig that.' Banker First man: "I hear the First National Bank is looking for a new teller." Second man: "I thought they just hired a new teller last week." First man: "Right, that's the one they're looking for."
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