Hone s t l y Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case. "Look," said one to the other, "let's be honest with each other." "Okay, you first," replied the other. They walked on in silence. The Sun Bay Paper Page 20 February 25, 2022 - March 3, 2022 It’s time to benefit from the active real estate market. Contact me for competent real estate expertise. Cathie Lewis, Realtor Pfeifer Realty Group, LLC SWFL, Fort Myers Beach, Sanibel & Captiva Islands is All About Home Real Estate Specialist “Naughty” s t o r i e s Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France." The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Hold on young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon." Want a Better View? Th i nk i ng ahead Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?" "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show." "Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" (Paul slumps back over the bar again.) "I kicked her in the face." F o r c e n t u r i e s It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities. In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!" Overheard at the Bar What do you think the employee discount is at the Dollar Tree? Do you think its just take it? “Because Monday through Friday are week days “I lift weights to get stronger on Saturday and Sunday” No Wo rr i e s A young woman brought her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told her father to find out about the young man. The father invited the fiancé to his study for a talk. "So what are your plans?" the father asked the young man. "I am a biblical scholar," he replied. "A Biblical scholar. Hmmm," the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?" "I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father. "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us." "And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiancé. The conversation proceeded like this, and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide. Later, the mother asked, "How did it go, Honey?" The father answered, "He has no job and no plans, and he thinks I'm God!" The cand y s t o re So this school teacher is walking down the street in Brooklyn. She sees a young teen sitting on the street in window of a candy shop, shoving sweets in his mouth as fast as possible. She goes in and walks up to the boy and says "You know, it's really not healthy to eat all that candy." The kid looks up at her and says, "You know my grandmother lived to be 97 years old." The teacher replies "Oh and did she eat a lot of candy?" The kid looks at her and says "No, but she knew to mind her own business." Li fe Le s s ons A friend who’s twins just turned 2, asked me what parenting toddlers is like, “after all she said, you’ve had 6 children so you would know!” So I headbutted her in the face, poured my drink on her, while she was in shock, I hid her keys and then told her I love her more than the stars.
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